Friday, May 7, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Decisions, Decisions
I find myself thinking today and considering some major issues in my life. I seem to spend an inordinate amount of time trying to determine which, among many options, the “right thing” is. Someone once told me, “You suffer from an ancient disease, Analysis Paralysis.” That was one of the most helpful criticisms I’ve ever received and I did listen. The problem is I still do it.
Be honest and think about it with me. If you’re considering whether to murder someone (except a rotten ex-lover who totally did you dirty) or not to murder someone the choice is fairly easy. In other cases they can get blurred somewhat. Why do you think Shakespeare wrote “to be or not to be….” Do I buy a Chevy or a Ford? Do I take a job that pays an outrageous salary, but I have to work in a bad environment, or do I take another that doesn’t pay well, but I love going to work each day. Choices can get complex. There are many other choices that confront us each day that are much “closer calls” and yet may well have a dramatic impact on our lives.
I faced a decision in my business 20+ years ago that caused me much consternation. I was a Custom Home Builder progressing through the ranks and learning the lessons in the School of Hard Knocks. I got to the point where a faced a necessary decision. When building a house I did much of the work myself. As a tradesman and a builder I paid myself wages from the concrete foundation, framing, roofing, electrical (etc.) budgets as well as including having a supervision budget item. This was a natural way to have a steady income during the construction process. The only problem was that my true giftedness lies in the business management arena and not the tradesman. I was very capable and my prior experience gave me the “know how”, but my passion was in managing my business and that’s what floated my boat. My heart said, “back away for the trades and hire more sub-contractors”, but my mind said, “you need the cash flow.” I would need more than one house under construction to provide enough income from the supervision budget alone to support my family. Eventually, profit on the projects considered, the cash flow question gets answered.
Life is never so simple and straight forward so as to hinge on one issue and mine was no different. After much sober reflection (hind sight = 20-20) of this era of my own life this was a major piece of the puzzle and I did not make the best choice. One of my biggest mistakes was that I procrastinated on the choice (analysis paralysis strikes again).
As a result of not following my heart and playing to my strength, I crashed. My family was blown apart and worst of all my children were adversely affected. The most innocent of all suffered for none of their own decisions. Any honest person would have to acknowledge, that hurts.
I’m past that time now, but the lesson has been duly noted and paid dividends over the years. The lesson learned? Well it breaks down into a few pieces.
1. In Life all we have is right now…and then it’s gone. You have to live in the present. Take life as it comes.
2. As a result we need parameters, standards and/or models to hold issues up to and compare against to be able to make good decisions. Goals that are clearly stated, a Mission Statement for our life makes some decisions automatic and all decisions easier. Dizzy and confused or just plain lost is the person who floats.
3. The standards we adopt and hold too MUST be real. They must be anchored in truth. Verifiable. Proven. Albert Einstein said (in essence) theories of Physics must be provable or they’re incomplete at best and certainly never correct.
Well it so happens that many years after that situation mentioned above I face another major decision. I’m not able to view into the future and see how one choice may differ from another in a couple of years. I’m here right now and all I have are my tools. I came by all of them honestly; I paid for them with my own heartache and joy.
As I look at my situation I’m tempted to ask myself, “What on earth are you doing?” As a matter of fact I’m not only tempted, I have asked myself, “What on earth are you doing?” The answer is taking life as it comes and doing my best.
Be honest and think about it with me. If you’re considering whether to murder someone (except a rotten ex-lover who totally did you dirty) or not to murder someone the choice is fairly easy. In other cases they can get blurred somewhat. Why do you think Shakespeare wrote “to be or not to be….” Do I buy a Chevy or a Ford? Do I take a job that pays an outrageous salary, but I have to work in a bad environment, or do I take another that doesn’t pay well, but I love going to work each day. Choices can get complex. There are many other choices that confront us each day that are much “closer calls” and yet may well have a dramatic impact on our lives.
I faced a decision in my business 20+ years ago that caused me much consternation. I was a Custom Home Builder progressing through the ranks and learning the lessons in the School of Hard Knocks. I got to the point where a faced a necessary decision. When building a house I did much of the work myself. As a tradesman and a builder I paid myself wages from the concrete foundation, framing, roofing, electrical (etc.) budgets as well as including having a supervision budget item. This was a natural way to have a steady income during the construction process. The only problem was that my true giftedness lies in the business management arena and not the tradesman. I was very capable and my prior experience gave me the “know how”, but my passion was in managing my business and that’s what floated my boat. My heart said, “back away for the trades and hire more sub-contractors”, but my mind said, “you need the cash flow.” I would need more than one house under construction to provide enough income from the supervision budget alone to support my family. Eventually, profit on the projects considered, the cash flow question gets answered.
Life is never so simple and straight forward so as to hinge on one issue and mine was no different. After much sober reflection (hind sight = 20-20) of this era of my own life this was a major piece of the puzzle and I did not make the best choice. One of my biggest mistakes was that I procrastinated on the choice (analysis paralysis strikes again).
As a result of not following my heart and playing to my strength, I crashed. My family was blown apart and worst of all my children were adversely affected. The most innocent of all suffered for none of their own decisions. Any honest person would have to acknowledge, that hurts.
I’m past that time now, but the lesson has been duly noted and paid dividends over the years. The lesson learned? Well it breaks down into a few pieces.
1. In Life all we have is right now…and then it’s gone. You have to live in the present. Take life as it comes.
2. As a result we need parameters, standards and/or models to hold issues up to and compare against to be able to make good decisions. Goals that are clearly stated, a Mission Statement for our life makes some decisions automatic and all decisions easier. Dizzy and confused or just plain lost is the person who floats.
3. The standards we adopt and hold too MUST be real. They must be anchored in truth. Verifiable. Proven. Albert Einstein said (in essence) theories of Physics must be provable or they’re incomplete at best and certainly never correct.
Well it so happens that many years after that situation mentioned above I face another major decision. I’m not able to view into the future and see how one choice may differ from another in a couple of years. I’m here right now and all I have are my tools. I came by all of them honestly; I paid for them with my own heartache and joy.
As I look at my situation I’m tempted to ask myself, “What on earth are you doing?” As a matter of fact I’m not only tempted, I have asked myself, “What on earth are you doing?” The answer is taking life as it comes and doing my best.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
My first blog
I recently experienced the loss of my father after a year long battle with cancer. It was hard for all the normal reasons it was a little harder yet because my dad was not only healthy all his life, he was very physically fit. He only missed about 3 months of his exercise routine before he actually died. Cancer is just a disgusting disease, it just is.
At 88 he lived a good time and had a very good life in many ways and when it came to my eulogy there wasn’t much to think over. Many times throughout my life I’d reflected on my dad and what he has taught me. He wasn’t always the most nurturing and cuddly guy, but he was by any definition a hero.
I always loved the fact that he wasn’t a “fancy dancer” or “high flyer”. He went about his life in a quiet way. He was engaged, but seldom up front. He was the type of guy that when he was involved in something you never noticed him, but if he wasn’t there…the whole thing fell apart. He was a WWII pilot who went to college on the GI Bill and became an engineer. He worked for 30+ years at Lockheed. As a young boy he was the smartest man alive and as a grown man and software engineer…he dropped to number 3.
More than any two in the family we had our battles over the years, but never, not for one second, did I ever not have the utmost love and respect for him.
I decided to eulogize him by way of a letter of tribute that I started several years ago. Here it is:
Tribute
To
John Lee Wright
Dear Dad,
This letter of tribute is long, long overdue on the one hand and, seeing as you fled “touchy feely” sentiment like the plague, its probably right on time. I now know that I needed to live a good while, learn, meet a lot of people and take in a lot of information, think about it, distill it down and grow before I could truly appreciate the man you were. It’s very true dad that the older I got, the smarter you became.
I wouldn’t tell you in this tribute that you were perfect in everyway or a model husband and father. Besides not being genuine, it trivializes the “hand you were dealt” and the way you lived in light of your start. I never heard you whine about your childhood, but as I came to understand the era in which you were born, the early days of your life and contrasted that with your choices and how we were raised I feel I’ve come to know as much as anyone, about the man you really were. You don’t travel the road you did in life and not hit bumps here and there.
They say in parenting “it’s not what’s taught, it’s what’s caught.” I stand here today, 57 years old, a parent myself, a college graduate, a business owner, having met hundreds of people and most importantly a Born Again Follower of the Lord Jesus Christ and say there’s no one else I’d rather have “caught” from then John L. Wright.
I can remember so many things through the years that impressed me and were impressed upon me that time wouldn’t allow mentioning many of them, but I know there all a part of who I am today.
I remember how you never took things a face value. You always “went deeper” into a thing to understand how and why it was the way it was. I saw this the time we were watching a documentary on the designing and building of skyscrapers. In the middle of the show you commented, “It’s fairly easy to design a skyscraper strong enough withstand the stresses it will encounter once built. The real trick is to know how to build it. What members to install in what order so it is strong enough to withstand the stresses it will encounter while its being built.
You were meticulous about much of what you did and yet seemed unconcerned about other things. I can remember seeing you make copious notes about things for work or other projects. Each time they were carefully filed for future reference and yet I found a several wards you’d received in a closet. You lived in our house for 50 years and I don’t think you ever painted the eaves. The roof leaked one time and it now has a top quality professional re-roofing job. Your cars (average age 25 years old) always ran like tops and looked like the dickens. You bought your clothes at L.L. Bean and Eddie Bauer and yet still have the same 99 cent porcelain light fixtures at the house. They don’t even have small chains. We have to screw the light bulb in tight to have it go “on” and loosen it slightly for “off”. These things and others point to your unwavering commitment to value. I made it sound noble here, but if I were speaking plainly I’d say “you squeezed a nickel so hard the Buffalo pooped in your pocket.” I don’t think your lifestyle was exemplary in every detail, but the message was loud and clear. Something matter and other things don’t.
In all your stories of your life you were never the hero so my favorite one was the one Aunt Helen told. She was the Bookkeeper at a hops processing plant in Oregon. She got you a job doing several things among them sealing the crates of hops as they came off the assembly line by strapping them down with metal straps. Some of the employees got mad when the owners installed an automatic strapping machine thus eliminating a job. The debate raged until someone said, “John Wright can strap those crates faster then that damn machine anyway.” The race was on! With everyone who worked in the plant in attendance, hooting, hollering and making bets the machine went first then you. As you hammered down the manual strapping lever on the last crate the timers stop watch clicked. After a few seconds of deafening silence the pro labor forces erupted in joy…You beat the machine!!
Speaking of jobs you must have had a thousand. Working with grandpa as a small boy then construction, working in a slaughter house, the military, cab driver, surveyor and of course an engineer. One might think being diligent and working hard was something you believed in.
Bob Almon tells me that during his years as a Structural Assembler at Lockheed when they had a problem building an airplane they called an engineer. When they had really big problem they called John Wright. He said, you’d come to look at the issue followed by an entourage of engineers that looked something like a Rock Star being pursued by the paparazzi. When you saw Bob you’d readily acknowledge him as a friend. Someone might think that hard work paid off.
You weren’t the most soft and cuddly guy I ever knew pop and you didn’t look for controversy. There were many times you had plenty to say about what I might do better in my life. Only after being a parent for several years did I realize that one of the hardest things you ever did was to come and pick your son up from jail. The implications in our middle class community were obvious. On that ride home you said very little and what you did say conveyed your concern for me and not your precious reputation.
There’s so much more I could say dad it seems I’d sound like a broken record.
• Study and learn.
• Work hard.
• Do a good job.
• Loyalty & Commitment.
• Make solid choices.
These and many other messages were loud and clear. I’ve put these ideas to tough scrutiny. I’ve weighed them against the heaviest tests life can offer. They have been lauded by some of the greatest leaders in history. Philosophers, statesmen, champions of industry and Jesus Christ Himself spoke of these very same concepts, but I know they wouldn’t have had as much meaning for me had I not seem them lived right before me.
To many people pop you were that goofy old man, driving in his clunky car wearing an array of funny hats, who lived in a 90 year old house and hung your laundry on a clothes line rather than having a dryer. You wore your eccentricity like a badge of honor and some people didn’t understand.
To all who knew you well the assessment was unanimous. You were an amazing man. We loved you, we respected you, and we are all very, very proud of you.
I will miss you pop,
Love,
John
At 88 he lived a good time and had a very good life in many ways and when it came to my eulogy there wasn’t much to think over. Many times throughout my life I’d reflected on my dad and what he has taught me. He wasn’t always the most nurturing and cuddly guy, but he was by any definition a hero.
I always loved the fact that he wasn’t a “fancy dancer” or “high flyer”. He went about his life in a quiet way. He was engaged, but seldom up front. He was the type of guy that when he was involved in something you never noticed him, but if he wasn’t there…the whole thing fell apart. He was a WWII pilot who went to college on the GI Bill and became an engineer. He worked for 30+ years at Lockheed. As a young boy he was the smartest man alive and as a grown man and software engineer…he dropped to number 3.
More than any two in the family we had our battles over the years, but never, not for one second, did I ever not have the utmost love and respect for him.
I decided to eulogize him by way of a letter of tribute that I started several years ago. Here it is:
Tribute
To
John Lee Wright
Dear Dad,
This letter of tribute is long, long overdue on the one hand and, seeing as you fled “touchy feely” sentiment like the plague, its probably right on time. I now know that I needed to live a good while, learn, meet a lot of people and take in a lot of information, think about it, distill it down and grow before I could truly appreciate the man you were. It’s very true dad that the older I got, the smarter you became.
I wouldn’t tell you in this tribute that you were perfect in everyway or a model husband and father. Besides not being genuine, it trivializes the “hand you were dealt” and the way you lived in light of your start. I never heard you whine about your childhood, but as I came to understand the era in which you were born, the early days of your life and contrasted that with your choices and how we were raised I feel I’ve come to know as much as anyone, about the man you really were. You don’t travel the road you did in life and not hit bumps here and there.
They say in parenting “it’s not what’s taught, it’s what’s caught.” I stand here today, 57 years old, a parent myself, a college graduate, a business owner, having met hundreds of people and most importantly a Born Again Follower of the Lord Jesus Christ and say there’s no one else I’d rather have “caught” from then John L. Wright.
I can remember so many things through the years that impressed me and were impressed upon me that time wouldn’t allow mentioning many of them, but I know there all a part of who I am today.
I remember how you never took things a face value. You always “went deeper” into a thing to understand how and why it was the way it was. I saw this the time we were watching a documentary on the designing and building of skyscrapers. In the middle of the show you commented, “It’s fairly easy to design a skyscraper strong enough withstand the stresses it will encounter once built. The real trick is to know how to build it. What members to install in what order so it is strong enough to withstand the stresses it will encounter while its being built.
You were meticulous about much of what you did and yet seemed unconcerned about other things. I can remember seeing you make copious notes about things for work or other projects. Each time they were carefully filed for future reference and yet I found a several wards you’d received in a closet. You lived in our house for 50 years and I don’t think you ever painted the eaves. The roof leaked one time and it now has a top quality professional re-roofing job. Your cars (average age 25 years old) always ran like tops and looked like the dickens. You bought your clothes at L.L. Bean and Eddie Bauer and yet still have the same 99 cent porcelain light fixtures at the house. They don’t even have small chains. We have to screw the light bulb in tight to have it go “on” and loosen it slightly for “off”. These things and others point to your unwavering commitment to value. I made it sound noble here, but if I were speaking plainly I’d say “you squeezed a nickel so hard the Buffalo pooped in your pocket.” I don’t think your lifestyle was exemplary in every detail, but the message was loud and clear. Something matter and other things don’t.
In all your stories of your life you were never the hero so my favorite one was the one Aunt Helen told. She was the Bookkeeper at a hops processing plant in Oregon. She got you a job doing several things among them sealing the crates of hops as they came off the assembly line by strapping them down with metal straps. Some of the employees got mad when the owners installed an automatic strapping machine thus eliminating a job. The debate raged until someone said, “John Wright can strap those crates faster then that damn machine anyway.” The race was on! With everyone who worked in the plant in attendance, hooting, hollering and making bets the machine went first then you. As you hammered down the manual strapping lever on the last crate the timers stop watch clicked. After a few seconds of deafening silence the pro labor forces erupted in joy…You beat the machine!!
Speaking of jobs you must have had a thousand. Working with grandpa as a small boy then construction, working in a slaughter house, the military, cab driver, surveyor and of course an engineer. One might think being diligent and working hard was something you believed in.
Bob Almon tells me that during his years as a Structural Assembler at Lockheed when they had a problem building an airplane they called an engineer. When they had really big problem they called John Wright. He said, you’d come to look at the issue followed by an entourage of engineers that looked something like a Rock Star being pursued by the paparazzi. When you saw Bob you’d readily acknowledge him as a friend. Someone might think that hard work paid off.
You weren’t the most soft and cuddly guy I ever knew pop and you didn’t look for controversy. There were many times you had plenty to say about what I might do better in my life. Only after being a parent for several years did I realize that one of the hardest things you ever did was to come and pick your son up from jail. The implications in our middle class community were obvious. On that ride home you said very little and what you did say conveyed your concern for me and not your precious reputation.
There’s so much more I could say dad it seems I’d sound like a broken record.
• Study and learn.
• Work hard.
• Do a good job.
• Loyalty & Commitment.
• Make solid choices.
These and many other messages were loud and clear. I’ve put these ideas to tough scrutiny. I’ve weighed them against the heaviest tests life can offer. They have been lauded by some of the greatest leaders in history. Philosophers, statesmen, champions of industry and Jesus Christ Himself spoke of these very same concepts, but I know they wouldn’t have had as much meaning for me had I not seem them lived right before me.
To many people pop you were that goofy old man, driving in his clunky car wearing an array of funny hats, who lived in a 90 year old house and hung your laundry on a clothes line rather than having a dryer. You wore your eccentricity like a badge of honor and some people didn’t understand.
To all who knew you well the assessment was unanimous. You were an amazing man. We loved you, we respected you, and we are all very, very proud of you.
I will miss you pop,
Love,
John
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